Thursday, September 13, 2007

we<-->me

The longer I live, the farther she gets from me. I lived with her once, constantly. Then she drifted and became an ideal I would reach one day--and that day, I'd feel successful and whole. But days pass and I doubt she'll ever come back to me. I begin to wonder if I can live with just me, without her to give that meaning, that hope of redemption some day. Slitted wrists and melodrama tempt and yet can never be.

She is dead. That confident, gregarious woman. Though only I knew of her, she was still as real and tangible as the summer sun. I mourn her as a dear, precious friend, now gone forever. No one mourns beside me, for the world never truly saw her. I skim through her past and her thwarted future, but it's painful to look through it and despair at the futility of it all! Melted dreams and disappearing hopes now remain like scattered debris from a happy picnic that only lives now in sepia-mind-photographs.

3 Comments:

At 10:02 AM, Blogger Ms. Lane said...

This blog is like a side of you everyday life fails to see.. what can i say its lovely.. like the use of sepia photograph reminded me of jack johnson.. cud almost picture it

 
At 10:24 PM, Blogger AtomicGitten said...

I don't think you've lost her. You've just misplaced her. She'll turn just when you think you've forgotten her.

 
At 12:17 AM, Blogger iAM said...

well... jan.. your writing's spooky in a good way.. alright i'm not exactlly sure if that's what i mean, but i'll figure out what i'm trying to say and say it in another comment i guess.. but the images you used were really interesting - especially the abandoned picnic one - i found that pretty cool...

 

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