The Chicken...

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Article submitted by Cainam (My onety oneth alter-ego)

This question has baffled scientists and psychics alike over the years. The CBI, CIA, FBI, the Interpol and several other agencies, both intelligent and non-intelligent, have been looking into the problem for years yet have not been able to come up with a rational explanation.

The Puzzlers (as those who investigate this question have come to be known) first thoroughly researched the phenomenon of the chicken crossing the road. Several bird psychologists were then brought in to shed light on the chicken's motivation for crossing the road and its state of mind. These brilliant psychologists, considered to be the cream of the exclusive world of bird psychology, were those who had earlier managed to finally crack what lay behind the chicken who claimed the sky was falling on his head. They discovered that the chicken (popularly known as Chicken Little) had developed severe paranoia and slight insanity from reading too many Asterix comics.

Also part of the Puzzler group was a team of veterinarians who specialised in the field of chickens. The vets were in charge of analysing the physical health and well-being of the chicken and then try to form a clear picture of the said chicken in concert with the B.P.s (Bird psychiatrists).However all their efforts proved to be useless as the chicken itself had escaped by then. The next step the Puzzlers took was investigating the scene of the crossing. The gravel road proved elusive as several cars had by then passed the way and all evidence was destroyed.

New light was shed on the baffling case by an anonymous tip. A mysterious caller mysteriously claimed that the chicken's motivations were beyond human understanding and abruptly terminated the call. The philosophers who were a necessary part of the team furiously debated if the caller referred to existentialism, atheism or transcendentalism. However, it was in vain as the tipper called back, apologised for accidentally cutting off the call and informed the eagerly listening Puzzlers that the chicken was in fact a rubber one.

A huge uproar broke out with one half of the puzzlers claiming that the other half had suppressed this information and handicapped the investigation. The other half, perhaps more credibly claimed that the caller was a kook. Investigations continued with renewed vigour to ascertain whether the chicken was made of rubber or was real. Droppings found near the site of the crossing proved the latter half of the Puzzlers right and the caller was, in fact, a kook.

Investigations have been ongoing for several decades. However, the case received its big break by the sheer brilliance of the seven-year-old son of one of the Puzzlers, who, irritated by his father's preoccupation with a case older than he, burst out, "Because it wanted to get the other damn side!" (The exact statement was much more explicit but has been censored for the sake of International Laws for the Decency of Internet Content)

Case solved and closed.